


Changed Several Times Since Then: When the Past and Present Collide

by DarkwingSnark, MicaXIII, TheMainDaine



Series: BTAS Ask-Blog Universe [11]
Category: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, talking through past traumas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 12:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20191942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkwingSnark/pseuds/DarkwingSnark, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MicaXIII/pseuds/MicaXIII, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMainDaine/pseuds/TheMainDaine
Summary: Selina Kyle, in order to help friends of old and new, plans a dinner outing. Alice Pleasance and Jervis Tetch finally talk about what happened between them.





	Changed Several Times Since Then: When the Past and Present Collide

**Author's Note:**

> More RP shenanigans that happened behind the scenes of the blog. Mostly posting for archive purposes.  
Mad Hatter: https://askthemadhatter.tumblr.com/  
Catwoman: http://felineinquiries.tumblr.com  
Alice Reynolds: https://alicereynolds77.tumblr.com

The clock had just struck five when Alice Reynolds gathered her things to leave Wayne Tech for the day. She took a quick look out the window before walking towards the elevator-- immediately spotting the pink car. Alice didn’t know much about cars; but she thought it looked very classy despite sticking out like a yellow tulip in a field of red ones-- if you replace the red tulips with black cars.

As the elevator steadily dropped to the entrance floor, so did Alice’s stomach. The closer she got to the vehicle the clearer the realization was that this was real.  _ This was happening. _

_ It was happening. _ Selina sat in her car, checking her lipstick in the rearview as Alice approached. The top of the convertible was down, one more way she stood out; after all, how many pink cars in Gotham were driven by a bombshell?

She smiled brightly as Alice approached; Bella was blissfully lacking a certain hatter, at least so far, so Alice could have her choice of the front seat with Selina, or getting the back to herself.

“Darling~ I thought I’d nip around for you first, give you some decompression time. I hope work wasn’t too  _ dreary, _ deary.”

Ms. Kyle’s ever charming and comforting demeanor quickly made Alice feel more at ease. As she got closer to the car she realized she had a choice to make: and either one would end up feeling awkward one way or another.

Alice’s first thought was to take precaution and sit in the front, but wouldn’t that make Jervis  _ uncomfortable _ ? Having his guilt-stricken eyes loom at her from the back seat-- as she made it very clear that she  **did not ** trust sitting next to him.

Alice thought of this for a moment, and with a soft huff through her nose she took her seat next to Ms. Kyle. As it was now, it would only feel weird to be the only one sitting in the back anyway! And she couldn’t let Jervis Tetch “kicked puppy” demeanor control her decisions.

“It was a slow day,  _ thank goodness _ . I don’t think I’d be able to do this if not, haha.” Her stiff laugh did little to hide her nervousness.

Selina’s smile was kind, and she patted Alice’s hand comfortingly before starting up Bella. “It’ll be a public restaurant. I’ll drop him off first afterwards. And I’ll be alongside you both the whole time. You’ll be able to just… talk. Properly. I promise.” 

She smiled out the corner of her eye, as she took to the street in the direction of Jervis’ warehouse with Jonathan. Not a direct route, mind; one, there was a long-holding paranoia about being watched by authorities, and two…   
_ Well. _

That was not her actual heading; it was a bus stop a few blocks away. Upon which she rounded the corner, eventually.

Alice just nodded in response with an attentive hum. As she watched buildings float by she tried to gather her thoughts. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth.

  
She was really doing this, huh?  _ Was _ she really doing this?  **Yes!**

_ Jervis Tetch couldn’t believe he was doing this.  _

It took every ounce of mental fortitude for the Englishman to prevent himself from pacing; and even more not to simply leave the bus stop altogether and head back home. A place of comfort, where he knew neither man nor bird he shared his quarters with would judge him. Not a word would be said about past transgressions, there would be  _ no need _ to fret about-- and especially not in the manner he was currently, wringing his gloved covered hands to prevent himself from pulling out his pocket watch for the umpteenth time. 

It was the thought of home-- or, more importantly, the man he had affections for-- that ultimately kept him seated on the wooden bench. Jervis Tetch had more to gain from this fated meeting than he had to lose, after all. This was his moment to  **prove** to himself that he had moved on. That he was capable of  _ respecting others _ . That he was  _ no longer _ the man who kidnapped and mind controlled those he ** supposedly loved** .

Perhaps if he could see for it himself... Hatter would no longer need to fear spiralling out of control. He could prove to himself, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was a man  _ worth _ courting the likes of the Master of Fear.

Of course he’d still have Jonathan’s potential rejection to worry about; _ but one bridge at a time, yes? _

Jervis had taken out his pocket watch once more, compulsion getting the better of him, just as he noticed the familiar pink car turning the corner. His heart practically leapt out of his chest at the sight of it, as he jumped up from the bench. Okay, calm down, Tetch. Breathe. In and out. In and out.

It was a full mental recital of ‘ _ Jabberwocky _ ’ later that Bella finally stopped in front of him, and with it, a man who hoped didn’t look nearly as frantic and nervous as he felt. The Englishman removed his trilby in greeting.

“ _ Good evening _ , ladies.”

“Good evening, my dear angel.” Selina put the car in park, and leaned around Alice’s head so that Jervis could get the full force of a comforting smile. She reached out her hand for his, as well - the same greeting he always received, regardless of the circumstances. Patterns were, after all, quite comforting. And she assumed it would do him good to know that he could rely on her to be predictable, and moreover to treat him just as she always  **did** , particularly  **that** night.

“We have reservations at a place that’s top of the town, darling, and that I’m truly very fond of. I do hope you’re hungry, heart.”

This whole time, Alice hasn’t said a thing. After having felt so bold behind the safety of a computer screen, seeing Jervis Tetch in the flesh had made the young woman freeze in place-- the memory of his manic face popping out like a jack-in-the-box, among the flora he’d filled her old apartment with, flashed before her eyes.   
  
When the man’s gaze inevitably fell on her, she instinctively flashed him one of those smiles one would politely give a passing stranger that was more a straight line than anything else.

“ _ Good evening. _ ” Her voice was small and stiff.

The Englishman found himself growing rigid the moment his eyes laid on her:  _ Alice Pleasance Reynolds.  _ The woman who had once been his secretary,  _ his friend _ . The woman he had fallen  _ head over heels for _ , driving him into a frenzy of  **madness** . The woman who, the last time he could consciously recall seeing her, had looked at him with a similar sickly stricken look of dread, before she had buried her face into the comforting arms of her then fiance’.

Jervis swallowed, averting his gaze as he opened up the back door of the car.

“Yes,  _ quite famished _ , love,” Hatter lied-- eating was the last thing on his mind.

Selina could tell he was lying, but decided not to call him out. Propriety, and all that, took a forefront in all things. She allowed him time to secure himself in Bella’s backseat, watching in the mirror with a kind expression.

“...I know this is a big dinner for you both.” She murmured, in tones meant to be reassuring, and understanding. “But neither of you are who you were, those years ago. Both of you are, at least in part, meeting someone new.”

“And I happen to like you both  _ very _ much, so  **do** try to be kind to my friends, mm? It would do no one any favors to be unduly cruel to yourselves.”

And with that, she was off onto the road again, humming gently.

As the wind gently hit her face, Alice released a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding.  _ This was ridiculous! _ She’d been talking to this man just the other day and while that had also been a bit awkward, she hadn’t felt very scared or nervous  **at all** !

But, that had also been before she learned that he had ** not** been released from Arkham as she had assumed; but had, in fact,  **broken out** .   
  
Jervis Tetch was,  _ technically _ , still a very sick man. And yet she had still gone through with this. She knew she could had backed out last minute;  _ but she didn’t. _ This was too important, she just couldn’t think of any other way to move past this hurdle that was keeping her from living a normal life as a functional member of society.   
  
She took another deep breath.

In through the nose.

Out through the mouth.

She was there, this was now, and this was a different Jervis than the one from two years ago. 

_ Even if he was still a criminal.  _

She carefully looked into the rearview mirror, observing this new Jervis Tetch sitting in the backseat. What she saw was the Englishman looking out onto the streets-- curled in on himself slightly as he rested his hands in his lap. It was almost a strange contrast-- to see Jervis so quiet and tame, when his vibrant pink suit seemed to  _ scream _ for attention.

It reminded Alice of the flamingos she had seen walking about in their open area at the zoo, wings clipped to prevent them from flying away. He looked as trapped and downtrodden as she’d seen him back when he worked at Wayne Tech.

It was just too sad to watch. It took everything in Alice not to look away once she’d spoken, a bit too loudly at first.

“ **What do you think you’ll have once we get there, Jarvis? ** I-I’m hoping they’ve got dumplings there... Some sushi places do.”

The sound of Alice’s voice was enough to disturb Jervis from his silent reverie, his eyes opening very wide as he did a double take.

“Hmm? Oh.” Food, right. “Well, I’m partial to seafood, myself. So the likes of the dragon and rainbow rolls would be palatable.” A pause, this time speaking more to himself. “ _ Might also have chilled oysters, if they’re available. _ ” 

Hatter waved off the thought, before he could begin thinking about walruses and carpenters. 

“In any case, Mrs. Reynolds, I will have a better time choosing once I see what is offered. I…  **do** hope they’ll serve your dumplings, however.” He attempted a smile. “ Everyone should be allowed  **something** that pleases them.”

“ _ Oh… _ .” Selina blinks a bit. “Ah, it’s not quite that sort of sushi place, darlings…  **You’ll see** , it’s all terribly fresh, and I’m deeply fond of it, but it doesn’t cater to the American convention of sushi. Much more traditional.”

“Oh!” Alice blinks in turn, looking a bit embarrassed. “Oh, ok. Yeah, that’s no problem.  _ Haha _ .”

Selina chuckled, parking Bella so that they both could get out. It was one of those restaurants with a valet. She took the young man aside to give him a very pointed talking to, regarding… the state she expects to find Bella in when he brings her back, and what will happen if she is disappointed. (As well as what will happen if she’s presently surprised~ You’d be delighted to learn  _ how generous she can be _ , she promises.)

And with that - the doors were large and glass-- giving way to a smaller restaurant. There were no tables, simply a bar, a chef, and seats in front of him. They had three reserved in the back corner, and Selina planned on requesting a partition divider so that they could maintain a smidgen of Privacy.

She took the center seat-- waiting by it, idly.

Jervis Tetch, forever the gentleman, went into his routine of pulling out the chair for her to sit in. Selina gave him a smile of thanks, as he finished pushing her closer to the counter. He turned, reaching toward Ms. Kyle’s left side before it dawned on him how the youngest member of their party might take the gesture. Hands awkwardly placed on the back of the chair, Jervis threw a look over his shoulder, meekly asking:

“ _ May I? _ ”

It took a beat before Alice realized what was being asked of her.

“Uh-  _ Oh! _ Um, yes.  _ Thank you. _ ”

A simple nod, a pull of the chair. The Englishman found himself forgetting to breathe as he was  _ very much aware _ of Alice’s hair brushing against him as he tucked her in. Relief washed over Hatter as he made his retreat, taking a seat on the other side of Catwoman.

Feeling the presence of the man right behind her as she took her seat hit Alice with a vague, familiar feeling--  _ and not a good one. _ It made her body feel frigid for just a minute and her head began aching slightly.

_ Gee, this had  _ ** _not_ ** _ been going very well so far... _

Selina looked between the both of them, vaguely exasperated. She gave a drink order to the young woman who came by to take them, then cleared her throat as she started washing her hands with the hot towels they provided.

“As I am currently planning my own vacation, it inspires me to ask the two of you -  **if ** you won a vacation somewhere,  **who** would you take? And  **where** would you go?”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Paris with Billy,” Alice said wistfully after having thought about it for a while. “Just so romantic, you know? And it would be fun seeing all the sights and trying out the food!”

Jervis couldn’t help but think of the seaside trip he would have liked to take with Jonathan-- a notion equally as romantic, even as he squashed it with his own frown.  _ No, none of that. _ Not  **now** ,  _ not with the present company _ . The Englishman’s eyes momentarily flitting towards Alice before landing back on Ms. Kyle.

“You’re planning a vacation, you say?” He asked, facing Selina. “What, _ pray tell _ , have you considered thus far?”

“Oh, quite a bit, darling.” Selina’s smile was quite comfortable, quite… knowing, for some reason. Perhaps not terribly surprising, knowing as much as she did of Jervis’ personal life. “I’ve nearly the whole thing planned, save two little details - when to leave, a thing impossible to approximate until Edward is out on his feet…”

_ And your affairs are finally sorted, _ she added to herself in silent pause. “And what hotels to stay at. Peter and I were going to take a leisurely driving trip up and down the coast, sightsee some, and enjoy some theme parks together.”

“It just seemed like something that would be fun to do with him, I think~ ”

Alice, now in a much better mood than before, with the talk of boys, couldn’t help but slip out the more gossipy side of herself that she usually only showed to the girls.

“ _ Aaaand who’s Peter _ , if I may ask?” The smile was evident in her voice.

Jervis, meanwhile, frowned even more from the inquiry. Before he could think anything of it--  _ like how  _ ** _rude_ ** _ it might be to say anything offense when at least  _ ** _one_ ** _ member of their party happened to  _ ** _enjoy_ ** _ said man’s company _ \-- Jervis began to rant.

“ **A scoundrel.** ” An insult he genuinely meant. “ And  _ really _ , Ms. Kyle, I don’t see why you must take  **him** .  _ Surely you can think of more polite company.  _ What about Mr. Wayne?” Ah... Not him, all things considered. “Dr. Quinzel, perhaps? The dear has more than enough energy to make up for the  **both** of you, and a love of keeping things light and jovial.  _ Hmm? _ ”

Selina looked positively  _ delighted _ by this outburst. She was beaming at Jervis so brightly the lights around her almost seemed to dim, and it was everything she could do  **not** to burst into a peal of giggling.

“ _ Oh…! _ I could  **never** go on vacation with Bruce, I’d have to  _ pack! _ ” Never mind on the successful quell of laughter, it leaked into her tone despite her best efforts. “And - well, yesss that  _ is _ true of Harley, the dear, it just isn’t the same! You  **know** he makes me laugh, darling.”

She leaned and pecked Jervis’ cheek indulgently. “Besides, I already invited him. Peter is…”

Her attention drifted to Alice with a victorious grin, as she considered her words. “ _ Complicated. _ But I like him  _ very much. _ Alas, not everyone shares the affection.”

“Is he…” while trying to pick her words she thought of the scene she’d just witnessed.  _ Did Jervis just have a thing for blondes? _

“..one of you?” Alice settled on.

In unison Selina and Jervis spoke over each other, their ‘ _ Yes/ _ **No** ’ equally contradicting what the other said. Before Alice could ask for an explanation, the Hatter gave an exasperated sigh of defeat.

“Oh, **alright.** _Technically speaking_, he **is** on the opposing side of the law. **However,** I would say most of the gallery is _at least_ cordial to one another, where **HE**\--” Jervis paused, catching himself as he sat up straighter in his seat. His face scrunched itself as he sighed-- his nose giving a slight whistle as he did so. “ **WELL**, Mr. Merkel and I simply don’t get along, Mrs. Reynolds. So I rather not be **sorted** with him.”

Alice had to stifle a laugh. This was...very different. She had never seen Jervis this fired up and opinionated back when they worked together. She had gotten a glimpse of it on his blog but it was a whole ‘nother thing  **seeing it** in real life!

This man...was kind of silly.

“Ahem… Peter Merkel, was it? Is he a new rogue? I haven’t been keeping up with that kind of news for a while.”

“Ah… not technically.” Selina clarified, clearing her throat in an attempt to regain composure. It mostly works. “Peter has his beginnings elsewhere, but he followed me home after we met by chance at work, and I’m convinced he elected to settle here out of spite.” She grinned, an expression that wrinkled her nose and put a sparkle in her eyes.

“I ** hated** him, you know. He’s rather grown on me at this point, however - clearly. He’s my  _ most favorite rival,  _ and the  **second** best thief in town.~ Keeps me on my toes, makes things fun, gives me a  _ run for my money. _ ”

She snickered a bit at her own pun.

“Huh…” Alice rested her chin on the back of her hands. “Is there a lot of dating with the rogue circles? I imagine it would be: must be hard dating civilians when you’re constantly on the run, in hiding or behind. bars…” She looked thoughtfully into space for a moment.

Jervis couldn’t help but think of the one he wouldn’t  **mind** courting, even as he frowned at the thought of calling what Rag Doll and Catwoman were doing as  _ anything close _ to a committed relationship. Quite naturally, the Englishman said none of this aloud, as he let Ms. Kyle answer the young woman’s question.

“I wouldn’t attach that much commitment to  _ Peter and I _ …” Selina hummed, running a hand through her hair. The Chef had finally made his way down to the three of them to garner an idea of any allergies, as he cleaned his hand tools. 

(They’re given ginger, to cleanse their mouths between pieces, and a small plate of cooked appetizers to share, including  **potstickers** ~.)

“We may be close, but that’s an awfully  specific label, you know? That said! Y **es** , there are several couples within the gallery. I don’t think that involvement with a civilian is strictly…  _ impossible _ , if they know what they’re getting into - but, I imagine there’s some comfort to be had in knowing that your Other is familiar with the bumps in the road you’re both going to face  _ already _ .”

“And a certain comfort in knowing that they’re unlikely to try to  _ change _ you. That’s the worst feeling….”

“Ah, I didn’t mean to assume…” Alice trailed off, then responded to Ms. Kyle’s following statement with an empathetic frown.

“It must be tough, I imagine. I mean, while I can’t say I wouldn’t prefer there being no crime in Gotham,” she interrupted herself with an awkward little laugh.   
  
“Well...changing is up to yourself, right? It’s not something that can be forced, even if it is from a place of love.”

She suddenly felt a bit embarrassed: why was she acting like she had any idea what these people were going through? And it wasn’t like  **she** knew anything about psychology-- more than what she’d learned from her own therapist over the last year and a half-- so it  _ really  _ wasn’t her place to act like she knew what these people needed.

“Sorry, I’m letting out a lot of hot air, aren’t I? I probably watch too many movies, haha.”

“I’m sure most would.” Selina chuckled to herself. “While  _ I _ try to mind my targets and go after the odious sorts of people who think they can get away with anything, just to - you know - prove them wrong….”

“Ah, regardless, the whole… settling down and monogamy thing is hard; I mentioned last time, and would be doubly so with someone who expected me to abandon everything that’s made me self-made. That said…”

“The idea of a person you  **want** to change for is  _ awfully _ sweet, I agree.” She smiled, warmly. “I simply haven’t met one. And if I never do… well, that’s fine. I have a lot of people I love~”

“Don’t I, Angel?”

Jervis had been listening silently, drinking from the pot of sencha tea that had been brought to their counter. He was content with allowing the two women to chat among themselves, his thoughts straying with the subject of changing for others.  **Yes,** he supposed he would fit into that category-- though, it hardly seemed spectacular to be mindful of others boundaries. Perhaps he had been extra cautious, and yes, the Englishman  **did** go through the extra effort of providing Jonathan with whatever comforts he could. Yet… well, it made Hatter just as happy to go about the effort for his Hare. And if he was getting pleasure out of it, it didn’t seem like it should be labeled as a kindness…

Of course, these thoughts were put on hold as he noticed the change in inflection in the conversation-- Ms. Kyle now addressing him. Luckily for Jervis, he had caught the tail end of the conversation to put the pieces together.

“I would  **hope** I count as one of them, my pet.” This was said with a smirk from behind his tea cup. “But yes, you happen to have an abundance of affection. Which makes others equally fond of you, as well. You need not worry about finding romantic love, when you have more than enough of the  **platonic** at hand.”

“Of course you are, darling.” Selina’s tone remained fond. Touched, even. It was so nice that he ** got it,** you know?

She poured herself a cup of tea to enjoy, as the first round of sushi - two pieces apiece, expected to be eaten promptly - began to be made. Simple, just rice, a dab of sauce, and  _ very _ fresh fish, wrapped in a seaweed ‘belt’.

She crossed her ankles, humming. “It’s always meant the world to me that you  _ understand. _ ”

Ah -- first roll was on the plate. Selina lifted it with her fingers, to eat.

Alice had never eaten sushi with her hands before. _ Was that something you  _ ** _did_ ** _ ? _

She saw Jervis gingerly removing his gloves to follow Ms. Kyle’s example, seemingly looking over what to pick up.

In a mini panic, Alice waved around both her hands as if not knowing what to do with them, then finally picked up a piece of sushi with salmon on it. She cupped her free hand below the sushi to avoid spilling as she directed it into her mouth.

_ Oh. _

_ Oh, wow. It was  _ ** _really good_ ** _ . _

With a mouth still full of fish and rice, all Alice could do to express her thoughts was an aggressive hum of pleasure as her eyes widened to a ridiculous degree.

Hatter, having heard the noise, looked over from his seat-- smiling even as he couldn’t help but share Alice’s sentiments. Having finished his bite, Jervis instantly went for the hand towel to wipe away the uncomfortable texture of the rice from his fingers.

“You sound very pleased.” Jervis couldn’t help but comment, tone lilted with amusement. “ One would begin to believe you’ve never been introduced to salmon before.” 

Before he could stop himself, Hatter couldn’t help it as his mouth ran ahead of his worry-- spewing the first ridiculous thought that came to mind.

“ **Have** you? Been introduced, I mean. While sad looking creatures--  _ frowns plastered about their faces _ \-- they have many curious things to say. That is, if one can speak bubbles.”

Alice let out a few more hums as she tried to quickly down the food in her mouth so she could answer the question. She couldn’t help letting out a snort at Jervis’s last sentence, holding a finger up in a plea for him to await her response.

Finally swallowing, she took a sip of water and was now free to speak.

“I  _ -ehum- _ I’ve had salmon before but nothing like this!” Beaming, she gestured towards the plates rolling along in front of them. “There’s something about the texture. It felt as if it belonged in my mouth; _ does that make sense _ ?”

Selina snorted into her ginger, and has to reach for her tea to avoid choking on it.  _ Oh dear god. _

Unable to restrain a laugh, she nods a few times with pink cheeks and a knowing grin. “Oh,  _ absolutely! _ I have the same thought myself on occasion, but I didn’t expect to hear that sentiment from  _ you _ , Alice darling…! ”

It took a beat before Alice had processed what Selina had been implying. Her face turned a scarlet hue as she instinctively covered her mouth in mortified embarrassment.

“Ohhh…” Her hands left her mouth to rest on her rosy cheeks, eyes squeezed shut. “ _ Walked straight into that one _ , didn’t I?”

Still snickering, Selina did her best at looking apologetic. “A teensy-weensy bit. I’m sorry, I’ve been spending a lot of time with crass wit as of late.” The next round of sushi is out-- rainbow trout, just as simply made, and so that briefly gets her attention.

“ _ Mmh~ _ You’re not  **wrong** , though. I always save this place for  _ occasions _ .” 

_ Speaking of.  _ Alice got a bit of a meaningful look.

Alice saw the look, her eyes having been opened again the moment Selina started talking to her.

_ Ah. Right. _

Her face quickly went back to its regular color as she threw a careful look in Jervis’ direction.

The Englishman had been silently watching the two converse in confusion-- the lewd joke having gone completely over his head. However, he  **was** able to pick up on the fact Kyle was suggesting they get to the heart of the matter. And, in a bout of nervousness, he picked up another piece of sushi from their shared plate- using it as a distraction.

“ **Do** try the trout.” He said after chewing, his smile not reaching his eyes. “ I’ll be interested in seeing if you enjoy it as much as the other.”

“It’s delicious.” Selina murmured, fondly. “But we did all come out for a reason, darling…?”

Her tone was… gentle. She had hoped to ease them into this, but they kept  **dodging** the topic.

“An  _ occasion. _ An important one at that.  **Go on** , darlings.”

Alice was unsure how to even  **begin** . She had gone over the things she wanted to say on several occasions over the past few weeks, but  **now** her head felt completely blank.

“Um. Ok. So.” Words. What were words? “So the thing that happened, Jarvis…”

Ah, this was happening. The Englishman found his gaze slipping towards Ms. Kyle’s, as he did his best to keep his face neutral. His heart began to beat faster, as he remained silent-- allowing the woman to say her piece.

Alice had to avert her eyes from Jervis’ dread-stricken expression, she decided to look at the water glass in her hands.

“I still don’t understand  **why** you did it.” Her finger traced a small stream of water that had rolled down the side of her glass. “Everyone around me always wrote it off as ‘ _ Oh, the guy was just crazy. You can’t make sense of that. _ ’ 

“But I’ve always felt that was kind of a cop-out, you kno’?” She finished as she gingerly glanced up at Jervis again.

Hatter let the question settle in his mind-- even as he found himself frowning from the mention of his sanity--  _ or lack thereof, as the case happened to be _ .  **Still** , her inquiry was honest-- and perhaps it was his own need to seek out the optimism within the situation, yet… it almost appeared as if she wanted it to be  **more** than that. She had been ignorant to his plight, after all, so  _ of course _ everything appeared to have happened suddenly and with no seeming logic.

Jervis sighed.

“ _ ‘I think I must have changed several times since then.’ _ ” He cited, more as a starting point than anything else. “I suppose to understand  **that** , you first need to come to understand just how much I valued you within my life.  _ Surely _ you must have had an inkling of an idea of my affections for you then, yes?”

Alice blinked.

“I did, at the time, suspect that you might have had a bit of a crush on me…”

The beam he gave the woman was one of sadness, as he carried on.

“‘ _ A bit of a crush’ _ . Oh, if  **only** , Mrs. Reynolds. I was deeply and madly,  _ do excuse the phrase _ , ** in love ** with everything about you. Your laugh. The curious tilt of your head you would give whenever something caught you by surprise. You were the only thing, apart from my work, that kept me returning to that mim-- ** pardon** ,  _ miserable place _ .” 

The Englishman went to take a sip of his tea, the bitterness of the drink very in-tune with the feeling of old emotions that hit his system. Jervis breathed in the steam, the action soothing his weary soul.

“Of course, I  **knew** you already fancied another. Yet, that didn’t stop the emotions--  _ none of us can truly control those wicked things.  _ And… you really  **did** seem to enjoy my company then. Put up with my nonsense, truly cared about the things I had to say-- whether you understood them or not was another story entirely.  **Yet** , it was a kindness I hadn’t seen in all my years of working under Dr. Cates’ iron fist…”

Selina set down her cup, and wiped her fingertips clean, as Jervis spoke. Silently, she leaned towards him, giving him a reassuring sort of side hug, and a gentle pat on the back, resting her forehead briefly against his shoulder.  _ You’re doing so well _ _ - _ she did not say this aloud, but hums fondly near his ear, instead, to convey it.

When she sat up, reaching to take and squeeze Alice’s hand, offering an equally reassuring smile. (She doesn’t know the woman as well; best not to test and see how she does with hugs at a time like this, perhaps.)

Alice thought back to her time working together with Jervis at Wayne Tech.

Dr. Marcia Cates was a very abrasive woman.  _ ‘In a field dominated by men such as this, you can’t let them walk all over you. Give them a finger and they’ll take the whole hand!’,  _ is what she had told Alice once and at the time it seemed like a good and brave statement. It still did!

But the way Dr. Cates had been treating Jervis, that was not standing your ground as a person of authority, that was bullying!

“I- I always thought she was being too hard on you,” Alice finally said. “I wish I had defended you back then, but instead I pretended it wasn’t that bad. That it wasn’t any of my business, even though I thought of you as my friend!” 

She emphasized her statement with a gesture towards the man.

“But I was just making excuses because I wanted to stay on her good side. She was always nice to me, I always thought she was a good boss.”

Alice looked down at Selina’s hand holding her own with a pained and guilt-stricken expression. She squeezed it back gently.

“I’m not as good a person I like to think I am.”

Jervis jerked upward in his seat, looking at Alice with shock.

“I..” The Englishman stumbled over his own thoughts. “That wasn’t what I wanted from divulging my plight. Even through all of this, I never once thought  **you** were to blame.”

Hatter looked down at his hands, clasped against himself as a means of comfort.

“Mrs. Reynolds…  _ Alice _ .” The name left his lips in a whisper; it felt wrong to say, after all that had transpired between them. “I know  **now,** no matter how I felt for you, that gave me  **no right** to breach your boundaries. Love is a thing meant to be shared between two people-- not forced upon the other until they submit to your desires. And I… I feel  **ashamed** for having thought--  _ even for a moment _ \-- that I had the right to treat you in such a way.”

Jervis dared to look up, to meet the one he hurt directly in the eyes.

“I don’t expect you to ever forgive me. But  **do** know I am sorry for everything I put you through-- then and now.”

Alice hadn’t looked up until she had heard Jervis address her by her given name. She had been well aware that he had changed, that he was sorry for his actions, for quite some time. But hearing it being said directly from him to her, somehow, held a much greater weight to it than anything Jervis had said on his blog.

Then she thought of something.

“When I first approached you, you were so adamant of not getting into contact with me.” Her words were slow and careful as if Jervis would run off like a frightened deer if not. “What made your change your mind? Why did you agree on meeting like this?”

It couldn’t have just been him giving in to her constant poking and prodding after all, he possessed enough power to silence her one way or another. He could have made her disappear completely, had he wished to do so. If not him, then any of his many, equally powerful friends, could have done it for him.

But that never happened, had it?.

Alice’s question had been a bit of a surprise. Something he didn’t expect her to ask. His eyes lingered towards Selina-- silently inquiring what he should do and how he should respond. It… was a very loaded question, after all, with a very personal answer attached to it.

Selina blinked. At Alice, first, in surprise, then in a sidelong glance towards Jervis.  _ Oh. _

She smiled faintly, resting a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “Admitting it can’t hurt anyone, darling. Consider it… practice, for the more important audience, perhaps?” She suggests, softly enough that only the three of them can hear.

“It is, after all, a  _ happy _ occasion, darling.”

That was certainly a way of phrasing it. However… The Englishman supposed his dear friend had a point. What harm was there in telling Alice the truth? 

The  _ whole _ truth.

“Yes, well... “ 

Jervis turned his gaze back towards the younger woman, anxiousness pooling inside him at the fact this would be his first time ever talking about this subject to someone outside of his comfort circle. And especially the likes of Mrs. Reynolds, who had come to know the man in a multitude of ways-- for the better and for worse.

“ _ ‘Mine is a long and sad tale’ _ ,'' he quoted, giving a melancholy smile at it. “You aren’t the only one who wishes to move on from what has become of us after-- “ A pause, as he quickly moved on. “ _ In any case _ , as you have read online from my posts, I’ve been quite distraught over my actions-- and the meaning behind them. Ever since my fateful talk with the doctors at Arkham, I’ve been doing my best to be mindful. Mindful of how I treat those I care about.”

Jervis winced, hating how simplified that made things sound-- the notion that,  _ of course, _ you shouldn’t control people if you want them to  **like** you. He carried on, before  **that** could be a conversation in itself.

“However, as Time has ticked merrily by, I’ve come to find myself with, ah,  _ a well of emotions for one person in particular _ . And with that, it has made my fears of what I’ve done in the past resurface. My…  _ trepidations _ that I will fall back into old habits, despite how far I’ve come since then.” 

Hatter sat up straighter in his seat, determination swelling inside him. It was now or never.

“I’ve found myself in love with another, and… I have not  **allowed** myself to do anything about it. And perhaps this is selfish of me to want, but I…  _ I wish… _ ”

Alice was processing what she’d just been told.  _ Jervis Tetch was in love, and he didn’t want to make the same mistakes as he did with Alice. _

_ Alice, who Jervis had fallen deeply and madly in love with simply because she had treated him with kindness. _

Her eyes slowly drifter over to Ms. Kyle with a quizzical look.  _ Was she… _

“I knew what he was going to confess, darling.” Selina pointed out, kindly. “Which means it isn’t me - we’ve spoken on the topic many, many times.”

Her smile was kind.

Alice couldn't help but blush slightly in embarrassment for having her false suspicions called out so blatantly.

She tried to move on quickly, clearing her throat.

“Herm... If it’s ok of me to ask, Jarvis, what was it that made you fall in love with this person?”

Yet another unexpected inquiry. ‘ _ My, Alice’s curiosity knows no bounds _ ,’ Hatter couldn’t help but find amusement from this thought, even as he did his best to speak.

“I suppose friendship. They were someone I felt I could easily converse with-- even if our opinions tended to differ on many subjects. And there was the fact he,  _ they _ weren’t someone that conversing came naturally to. This person has a habit of pushing others away, and yet, here we are. Then there is the fact I feel  **appreciated** , that my company is wanted. And… He makes me feel  **special** , I suppose.”

By this point Jervis was on a roll, no longer trying to be careful, as words spilled forth.

“It’s not only about how me makes me feel, however. It’s… the  **gravity** of everything. The little things that add up into an abstract form of being. I want to do things that bring him joy. See the way he lights up with delight,  _ even if the joke is at  _ ** _my_ ** _ expense. _ ” 

Here the Englishman shook his head, thinking of all the times Jonathan had purposefully snuck up and caught him off guard-- causing him to jump in alarm. And how agitation melted away to those blasted fluttery feelings over seeing his impish grins. 

“He mentions how important I am to him. And… perhaps I can’t help but  **hope** it might be in the same way that I value  **him** . It’s quite an impossible thing to wish…  _ But that hasn’t stopped me before. _ ”

A warmth filled Alice’s chest as she watched Jervis talk so passionately about the man he loved. It was just so...cute!

It was then it all finally sunk in. That not only had Jervis Tetch fallen in love again, he had built a true connection with another person rather than shallowly fabricating one out of common decency.

“You really  **have** changed, haven’t you, Jarvis?” 

And it wasn’t that he couldn’t, but he  _ wouldn’t _ ever come after Alice or anyone else in that manner again. This thought washed over Alice like a gentle, warm wave, washing off a tension in her body she hadn’t even been aware of having been there.

“I almost don’t recognize you, you know? A- and that’s not a bad thing! I like who’ve you’ve become. And...”

She took a deep breath.

“I… forgive you.”

It was… strange how hearing those words could affect a person. Shock ebbed its way into relief, as the Englishman, too, felt the tension he had been holding release itself. Jervis gave a shaky sigh, shoulders relaxing as he looked at his hands-- suddenly becoming demure from gratitude.

“ _ Thank you, Alice… truly _ .”

Selina gently wrapped her arm around Jervis’ shoulders again, gently pulling him toward her so she can kiss his temple softly. And smiled, against it. “That wasn’t too bad, now was it, darling?”

“I’m glad it’s finally been settled.”

“Yes,” Alice agreed. Something was building up in her and she wasn’t sure what it was so she continued, smiling brightly.

“And hopefully now you’ll be able to tell Professor Crane how you feel! Isn’t that great, Jarvis?”

And just like that, Jervis Tetch was rigid once more-- head whipping in the young woman’s direction.

“How,  _ how did you-? _ ”

Alice burst out in giggles that quickly turned into a bubbly and whole hearted laugh. The building sensation inside her grew stronger and she now recognized what it was.

For the first time in two years, Alice felt completely safe.

_ And it was sort of overwhelming. _

Her laugh became more erratic as it soon got interjected with wet hiccups. Jervis Tetch watched: blinking, as Alice Reynolds was now crying in front of him-- something he had not seen since that fateful day.

“I..” The man was beginning to panic, giving Selina a pleading look, before reaching into his coat pocket to pull out his decorative handkerchief. “Oh, if there's one thing I can’t stand, it’s to see a woman cry.  **Here** , my dear,  _ please. _ I apologise, I  **didn’t** mean…”

“N-No!- Jarv- it’s-” Still laughing between the sobs, Alice had a hard time reassuring Jervis that he was not to blame for this emotional outburst.

Shaking, she leaned on Selina for support.

She received a light arm around her shoulders, gentle pats to the upper arm, and a kind ‘ _ there there _ ,’ murmured in her direction.

“Happy tears, darling?” She guessed, loud enough for Jervis to hear. “Relief, no doubt.”

Alice nodded wildly against the older woman’s shoulder. “M- Mhm!”

Selina accepted Jervis’ handkerchief with a fond smile in his direction, before she shifts so she could dab some tears off the younger woman’s cheeks. “Let out what you need to. I can only  **imagine** this is a long time overdue, love.”

With a number of deep breaths, Alice tried to compose herself.  _ She was a grown woman, darnit! _

Once her breath was no longer shaking, she spoke up.

“Yeah, sorry- I… Thank you.” She cleared her throat.

“I’m ok.”

Jervis watched this scene unfold, silent as Alice took his handkerchief from Ms. Kyle’s hands. He allowed himself to think about everything that had happened-- about who he had  **been** , who he was  **now** , and all the way things had seemed to change in such a short amount of time. The Englishman sighed. While the small party continued on with their dinner-- moving on to far chipper topics of conversation-- there was one sentiment he couldn’t help but agree with Mrs. Reynolds.

_ It truly  _ ** _did_ ** _ feel like things were going to be alright. _


End file.
